APRIL IS CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION MONTH
QUESTION...WILL YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH
TO HELP SAVE SOMEONE ELSE FROM THIS PAIN?
If you are living your adult life, stuck in the trauma story of your childhood, my blog may sound personally familiar to you.
For those of us who have experienced the horrific trauma of childhood sexual abuse, mental or physical abuse, we know it is not easy to detox all that fear out of our bodies and minds.
We also know that because of this de-valuing, manipulative conditioning by the abusers, we are in a constant challenge to believe that we are of any worth.
As a result of our lack of self-validation, we often find ourselves in the company of those who repeat with us, the same pattern which began in our childhood. This has been our normal, our only point of reference to date.
Here are just a few of my own experiences, prior to speaking up, cutting ties with, and detoxing my fear program.
Each truth I spoke was met with ridicule and judgement from those who chose to stay in their own denial. I was told to forget about it, it was nothing, it must have been my fault.
This is our truth:
Our bodies and minds do not forget.
It was something, and it re-wired our brains.
It was not our fault.
DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU?
Do the same type of abusive people keep showing up in your life?
It can happen with family members, friends, and strangers.
It can happen anywhere.
They may approach you in a public ice cream shop, at a Christmas family gathering, in your parent’s living room with your mother standing by. These men (or women) are no-boundary bastards with no morals, no respect, and definitely no understanding of the damage they cause.
And let me tell you, before you read any further, NONE OF THIS IS “NORMAL” healthy behavior.
It is manipulation:
1. He brushes against your chest and keeps talking like nothing happened.
2. He pulls you into a lip-lock while his own wife is in the next room, then he laughs and tells you the other family members don’t like it when he does that either.
3. He looks you up and down and ruffs like a dog.
4. Out of the blue, he goes into graphic detail about his early sexual experiences, then runs his hand up and down your arm.
5. He admits to inappropriately touching you once years ago, but says that doesn’t make him a pedophile.
6. He says you have disappointed him in questioning his intentions, and if anything happened it was because you asked for it. He only showed you love.
7. Your older male relative insists you kiss him on the mouth and degrades you for saying no.
Disgusting, huh?
I wish I had understood this years ago. By speaking my truth, I might have been able to save someone else from this pain.
Now it’s time to make a choice. What will you do? Doubt yourself? Say he didn’t really mean it? Take action? Tell someone?
Remember, you may be able to save someone else from having a similar disgusting experience. Because I guarantee, you are not his only target.
Turn off your panic light. These slime-balls are attracted to the possibility of re-victimizing you and they can detect the victim-vibe like a dog can sniff out a bone.
Please, speak your truth.
There may have been someone who could have stopped your abuser before he touched you, but remained silent out of fear.
If you could reach back in time and make that happen...how different would your life had been?